Mangagement Rings: the solution to all problems

On a daily basis we are all confronted with the important question: Are Mangagement Rings (aka engagement rings for men) a Yes or a No?

I'm going to go with "Yes." Why you may ask? Well firstly, I have a thing for compound words. I love pancakes, sunglasses and spacemen. I even own two Slankets. Who doesn't love butterflies, kneecaps, and horseshoes? But I digress... On a more serious note, I also think Mangagement Rings possess the power to save America by: 1) reviving our economy and 2) finally making men and women equal.

1) Reviving Our Economy-- I'm no economist, but I'm pretty sure that everyone is always saying we need to "stimulate" our economy in order to get out of this economic slump. So what better a way to do this then to create a new MUST HAVE item for all couples getting engaged. I have no idea how much money is spent on female engagement rings per year in total, and I'm too lazy to google it, but I'm guessing it's something like $46 billion dollars. SO if we had women also spending that much money on rings for men that would be almost a trillion dollars of economic stimulus! Also, we should make Mangagement Rings ONLY available in the U.S. Take THAT rest of the world! U.S.A! U.S.A.!

2) Equality for Women-- With the invention of the Mangagement Ring, women would no longer be forced to sit around waiting for men to pop the question. All they would have to do is head out to their local jeweler, buy a Mangagment Ring et voila! Now, for those ladies concerned that would mean that they would not be getting an engagement ring, fret not, I've thought this through. The Mangagement Ring would serve as an "offer of engagement" to the man, the man would then "accept the engagement" by giving the woman an engagement ring and vice versa. So ladies, if you are proposed to, remember to say "Thank you for your offer, I will hold on to this ring while I consider my acceptance." You then wait an annoyingly long time, then finally purchase a Mangagement ring, while HE waits in anticipation for you to "accept." EQUALITY!

So in summation, Tiffany's, Harry Winston, Cartier, Schmulie's Jewelry, I ask you as an American, a Woman, and a lover of compound words to get on this! Let's start selling some Mangagement rings!

To my Ladies: happy shopping, and your welcome.