Tuesday, December 3, 2013

iPhoneless in L.A.


I still remember the day I got my first iPhone. It was July 29th, 2007.  Everyone who was anyone in LA was camped outside the Apple store at the Grove - or rather their assistants were- waiting in a Disneyland like line in order to be one of the lucky first few to obtain the phone that would change their lives. 

It was all anyone could talk about, especially after they ran out of phones. Anarchy threatened the Grove.  “I missed my son’s soccer game for this.” an angry Brentwood woman shouted. “I might as well pack up and go home rather than go back to the agency empty handed.” Hundreds of assistants thought to themselves.

Meanwhile, I was in New Orleans visiting my parents.  It may have been the oppressive heat, or a just a general lack of Southern interest in the new iPhone, but not a soul was waiting in line. I strode into an AT&T store and without a moments delay I was the proud owner of a shiny new iPhone. 

My parents took me out to dinner that night. I remember walking through the restaurant tightly gripping the phone in a Gollumlike manner, as though a jealous patron or desperate assistant from L.A. might jump out of a shadow and snatch my precious from my hands.   I was not going to let that happened.  I was the first of my friends to get an iPhone, and I was going to relish in the cool.

Six years later, all my friends have iPhones.  Literally everyone I know in LA has iPhone, well, except for me.  Last week, in an impulsive moment at a different AT&T store, I turned and started to browse through the Samsungs.  What were these curious Droids?  What if in drinking the Apple koolaid for so long I was missing out on something spectacular? What if this was like when I finally tried Tito’s and realized it was way better than my go to Kettle One?

And so, I bought a Samsung Galaxy.  Is it spectacular? It might be, but for now it’s mostly confusing.  I’m a Macbook Air owner, but I can navigate the shit out of Windows PC any day.  Unfortunately my Windows skills, did not prepare me for an Android phone.  What had I done?!

When I tried to text my friends, my messages were rejected because they weren’t iMessages.  What? Did I need to download an app for this? It took me about 40 minutes to locate the droid version of App store, which is apparently called Google Play.   I’m sorry that’s a terrible name.  It sounds like it’s either a game app with a lot of pop up ads or a Google dating service. Whatever.  Turns out there isn’t an iMessage app for Droids. 

Droids, ugh.  Everytime I say that word I feel less and less cool.  I might as well trade in my clothes and car for a pink jumpsuit and a motorcycle and be the T Mobile girl.  I wonder if she has a Droid?  Maybe we can be friends.

I guess my new phone’s not all bad.  The camera is awesome.  The picture quality is amazing.  Calls are crystal clear. The operating system is fast.  It runs on Jellybean (whatever the fuck that is), and with the bigger screen and keyboard, my texting accuracy has vastly improved.  Friends will finally be able to read my texts and understand what I’m trying to communicate- that is, if I can ever figure out how to text them.